Big Sky Eyes Read online

  He had taken a few steps toward her and was peering into her eyes with genuine care. She turned around, knowing that she would never be able to say all that needed saying if he continued to look at her like that.

  “That’s not what I want,” she said wearily before sucking in a thin breath. “I want to know why her.” She paused and then quietly said what she really meant. “Why not me?”

  Brent stopped cold where he stood. His eyes slowly went wide as he stared at her back.

  “What did you say?” he asked lowly.

  She whirled, pain and humiliation clearly etched across her face. “I am not a kid, and I'm not your sister!” Her ire deflated as more emotions took hold and her shoulders began to droop. Fresh tears of agony glistened in her eyes. “I am a woman, Brent, and I have been in love with you for two years.”

  She waited to see the impact of her words. When he said nothing, did nothing, she continued. “And I can’t do it anymore,” she whispered painfully then looked up at his torn expression. “I won’t waste my life loving someone who doesn’t love me.”

  Brent had too many thoughts and not enough voice.

  “Mackenna…” he said in a choked whisper.

  She took a step back, her eyes once again in full flood. “Goodbye, Brent.”

  This book is dedicated to him…to my one heartbreaking, soul-wrenching crush. Thank you for being so worthy…and so unattainable.

  Big Sky Eyes

  By Sawyer Belle

  Kindle Edition

  Copyright Sawyer Belle 2013

  Discover other titles by Sawyer Belle at http://sawyerbelle.com

  This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Prologue

  The ice cubes were a glossy, golden color as he held the tumbler aloft and tilted it back and forth in the low-lighting of the bar. Actually, “bar” was a bit too modern word for this place. It was a relic from the nineteenth century that could be described as nothing more than wooden. Wooden and weathered, just like the men who drank there. The running joke was that if the regulars of The Shed were not such pricks themselves they might actually feel the splinters that they sat on. Such was the company in this cold Montana town.

  The bartender took his cue from the raised glass and refilled it with the dark amber rot gut so many switch to once their taste buds numb enough to distinguish between top shelf and well. For Brent, whiskey was whiskey, and it only served one purpose: to wipe out any emotion and replace it with a warm and brilliant blur. To Brent, whiskey was not for sipping, for savoring or any other pretentious use. There was a reason it burned you through.

  So when Ty found him deep into his cups at a bar he never went to, drinking a drink he never drank happily, he sidled onto the stool beside him and ordered the same. There they sat, drinking in quiet solidarity until Brent ground his teeth together in frustration.

  “I hate when you do that, Ty,” he said before raising his glass to his lips.

  “What’s that, Brent?”

  “Sit there all smug and sure that if you just keep your mouth shut long enough, I’ll bare my soul to you or something.”

  In answer, Ty took a sip and lightly smacked his lips together. He kept his gaze fixed forward and said nothing. Brent stared hard at his friend’s profile for a long moment before he snorted and shook his head.

  “Suit yourself, Ty,” he said with mild disgust. “I didn’t come here wanting to talk to anybody and I didn’t ask you to join me. If you think I’m going to make some big confession or something just because you’re here now, you’re wrong pal. “

  He received no reply, fueling his drunken anger.

  “What the hell are you good for anyway?” Brent continued. “You are the worst conversationalist. You know, if you want to talk with someone, you actually have to talk.”

  Ty took another silent sip.

  “You’re a son of a bitch, you know?” Brent sputtered, knowing full-well that his rebellion was crumbling. “Fine! You want to sit quietly? I’ll keep my mouth shut, but just do me a favor. Finish your drink and get the hell out of here, will ya?”

  Ty tipped the glass and emptied it into the back of his throat.

  “Finally,” Brent muttered. “Now go.”

  But Ty lifted his glass and caught the attention of the bartender. “Another if you please, Keep.”

  Brent huffed and once both of their glasses were full, he lowered his forehead to a balled fist where it rested on the counter. He pinched his eyes shut and heaved a defeated sigh. He couldn’t see it, but he knew that Ty’s straight mouth had now tilted into a triumphant and lopsided grin. This was their way. They had been friends since childhood. They were similar in the ways that mattered and exact opposites in the ways that best suited. Brent knew he’d never find a finer friend, and Ty felt the same.

  Brent raised himself and propped his elbows on the bar so he could rub the alcohol from his eyes with drunken fingers. He grunted and felt instantly remorseful for his tone and words. The man was the only friend he’d ever had. Well, not the only one.

  “Ah, hell, Ty,” he said. “It’s about Mackenna…”

  Chapter 1

  3 years earlier

  Washoe Valley, Nevada

  Mackenna scratched the furry ears of her golden retriever as he rested his head on her lap. She had been packed for three days and as she sat on the window seat of her room, staring out at her parents’ twenty-acre ranch rolling in an emerald carpet into the shadows of the Sierras, the thought occurred to her that she had no right to be so blessed, or so happy. She smiled as she spotted her favorite chestnut mare grazing among the herd in the pasture.

  With the institution of high school behind her, post-graduation life dawned full of promise. Her fall college courses had been selected and paid for. The journey toward becoming a veterinarian was set to begin. For one last summer, though, she and her best friend, Kelly McCrae, would spend their days working in Montana at The Slanted S, the dude ranch owned by Kelly’s family.

  During the previous four summers the pair had enjoyed all that big sky country has to offer: long days on horseback, nights beneath the stars and pine silhouettes, campfire cookouts and the achiness earned of a hard day’s work. The girls had always loved it and spent their tedious high school days looking forward to summer.

  Mackenna sighed contentedly as she stared out of the window. Her mother, Helen, shouldered a bag of grain as she walked along the white fence toward the stables, cooing to the horses. One by one, the animals jerked their heads up and pricked their ears, at once noticing both the time of day and the bag slung over their caretaker’s shoulder. They answered her coos with a chorus of whinnies and made their way toward the stables, bobbing their heads as they went.

  She was grateful for the upbringing her parents had given her. It was on this lush plot of land that she gained the knowledge and love of animals, mainly horses. Her mother, a large-animal vet, offered training and rehabilitation services and before she could even walk, Mackenna was placed on the bare back of any four-legged creature that would tolerate her. She had always known that she would follow in her mother's footsteps. It was the only thing she eve
r wanted to do.

  A car pulled onto their long driveway and inched its way toward the house. She knew it instantly as Kelly’s beat-up blue Civic. Mackenna stood and glanced at herself in the mirror. Her honey-colored hair, which usually brushed the tops of her shoulders when down was swept back into a tiny nub of a ponytail just above her neck. A few thin strands curtained a face she found far too round, and she pushed the little hairs up under a red bandana she had folded into a headband and tied around her head.

  She used the pad of her forefinger to wipe away a bit of smudged mascara beneath her lower lashes. Her eyes were bright, blue and by far her best feature. She frowned at the recent pudginess of her cheeks as she sucked them in to form a fish face. She had put on some extra weight during her last year of high school, a fact she found depressing but unavoidable.

  She had worked endlessly at her studies to graduate a year early. Kelly was a grade higher and not only did Mackenna want to walk with her friend, but she wanted to get started on earning her degree. Unfortunately, all of the extra time required to expedite her graduation cost her precious time working on the ranch and the effects of her idleness showed themselves in her face, her hips, and the most upsetting to her, her backside.

  With a sigh and a soft shrug, she forgot about her physical flaws and grabbed her duffel, tossing it onto her shoulder as her mom had the grain. She bounded down the stairs and out the front door. Helen was already there, laughing and chatting with Kelly. Mackenna tossed her bag in the car and jumped into her mom’s open arms, each wishing the other a safe and happy summer with promises to email and call often.

  “Tell Dad bye for me,” Mackenna said.

  “Sure thing, honey.” The girls got back into the car and buckled their belts, waving their arms out of the open windows as Kelly maneuvered the car around. “Call me when you land!”

  “I will, Mom!”

  Mackenna folded her arms on top of the lowered window and leaned her face out of the car and into the early morning breeze. She closed her eyes and let those stubborn strands of hair free themselves of her bandana and whip across her nose and cheeks. She breathed in deeply the scents of horse hair and hay, of wet weeds and exhaust. Of home.

  “You all right, kid?” Kelly called across the sounds of wind and radio.

  Mackenna smiled brightly at her redheaded friend.

  “I’m perfect,” she said, and she really meant it.

  Four hours later, their plane touched down in Missoula and the pair made their way across the tiny airport and out to the parking lot, where a familiar and friendly male face smiled up at them beneath a white Stetson cowboy hat. Kelly shrieked and took off at a run, dropping her bag on the concrete before throwing herself into her cousin’s embrace. He chuckled at her enthusiasm and squeezed her tightly with a grunt.

  “I was hoping it was you picking us up, Ty,” Kelly said.

  “Well, your wish came true, Red,” he answered. “And Mackenna!” he exclaimed as he looked over his cousin’s shoulder at Mackenna waiting shyly. “Get over here, girl, and give us a squeeze!”

  She obeyed and squealed with laughter as he lifted her off her feet with the effort of the hug. “It’s good to have you guys back!”

  “It’s good to be here,” Mackenna replied.

  “Ladies…” Ty turned sideways and gestured with his hands toward the twenty-year-old rust-covered Chevy truck. “Your chariot awaits.”

  “I’m surprised this thing hasn’t bitten the dust yet.” Kelly said in mock astonishment.

  “Rust before dust, Red.”

  “Hmm…I don’t think the same can be said of your jeans, Ty,” Kelly said, looking the faded patchwork pants up and down. “You’ll be able to make a quilt out of those soon.”

  “Waste not…”

  “Wed not,” Kelly finished.

  “Ouch!” Mackenna supplied with a laugh. “Leave the poor guy alone, Kell.”

  “It’s okay, Mackenna,” Ty said. “I happen to be very pleased to tell my dear cousin how wrong she is. Fact is, I’ve got myself a fine female just dying to meet you guys back at the ranch!”

  “Really, Ty?” Kelly asked, pleased.

  “Yep,” he answered proudly. “So, if you don’t mind, let’s continue this chat on the road. The next hundred and twenty miles aren’t going to drive themselves.”

  They shuffled in and the next two hours passed pleasantly in story-swapping. Ty was seven years older than Mackenna, and six years older than Kelly, but the three had always gotten along swimmingly during their summers together. By the time they had abandoned the highway for the dusty, rutted road that led to The Slanted S, they were all equally caught up on each other’s comings and goings of the past nine months.

  Mackenna stared out of the window, smiling softly to herself as she took in the familiar view of the unspoiled and breathtaking beauty of the Rocky Mountains of Montana. It was the most beautiful country she had ever been in, with peaks jutting high enough to pierce the clouds. The forests and meadows blended together in a green so deep that a person could barely tell where one began and the other ended. The air was clean and clear and made her lungs cold to breathe it. Wildflowers sprouted up, streaks of vibrant color, their blossoms stretching toward the vast sky with its bold, yellow sun.

  As the old Chevy crested its last hill, Ty eased onto the brake to allow the two a moment to take in the sprawl of the ranch below. Mackenna leaned onto the dashboard and gasped.

  “It’s bigger than last year!” she exclaimed. “You’ve added, what, six more cabins? And another corral, and you’ve expanded the pasture!”

  Ty nodded and grinned proudly.

  “Yep. We’ve been busy since you two left.”

  “Business must be really good then.”

  “Oh yeah. Ever since the folks hired that company to advertise, we’ve doubled in business. Had to buy another twenty horses.”

  “Well, let’s get down there, Ty!” Kelly exclaimed. “I want to see it all up close.”

  “You guys must have had to hire a bunch of new people this year,” Mackenna said once the truck was rolling again.

  “Not really,” he answered. “We didn’t end up with as many steers as we had hoped. So, we just took five guys from the cattle work for the summer here on the dude.”

  “Hmm, anyone I know?” Kelly asked.

  “Maybe…” he paused thoughtfully. “You remember my old buddy, Brent?”

  “Brent Thompson?”

  “That’s the guy. He’s helping out on the dude this summer.”

  “Hmph,” she said with a snort. “You mean he is actually going to lower himself to spend the summer with the city slickers? From what I remember, he was a bit of snob that way.”

  “He has nothing against city folk,” Ty defended. “He’s just a hard worker and he doesn’t see the point of playing tour guide. He doesn’t consider that real work.”

  “So, how’d you get him to work on the dude?”

  “I didn’t,” Ty answered. “His boss told him to.”

  “You mean your dad?”

  “No,” Ty answered with a grin. “I mean his mom.”

  “I guess that’s the benefit of your families being friends,” Kelly concluded with a laugh.

  “I guess…”

  The conversation ended with perfect timing as Ty parked the truck in front of the main lodge where the family stayed and shared breakfasts with the guests. Ty’s mom pushed the thin screen door open so hard that it smacked against the wood behind it. She looked every inch like Annie Oakley with thick, broken-in boots, long legs covered in jeans and leather chaps, and her red and green plaid shirt tucked into her belt. Her throat was hidden behind a ruffled red bandana. Her long black hair was tied into a thick braid and a black cowboy hat sat beneath a film of dirt on top of her head.

  She smiled brightly and clapped her hands with a chuckle as she came toward them.

  “My girls!” she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around them both. “My girls are back!
And thank God, too. We could use some more estrogen around here.”

  “It’s good to be back, Aunt Bev,” chirped Kelly.

  “You look more beautiful than ever, Bev,” Mackenna added.

  “Oh, you hush,” Bev hissed at Mackenna. “I’m as old and dusty as the road that brought you here, but you girls…well…I guess I shouldn’t be calling you girls anymore.” She stepped back and fastened a hand onto each girl’s chin. “You’re beautiful ladies now.”

  Her eyes began to glisten with emotion and Ty rolled his eyes before slamming the truck door and filling his hands with the girls’ bags.

  “Come on, y’all,” he said. “The sooner you get settled, the sooner you get working.”

  He walked past the three females, who were ignoring him thoroughly, and headed into the house. Bev squeezed Mackenna’s upper arm and smiled.

  “Congratulations on graduating a year early,” she said. “Your folks must be so proud.”

  “Thanks,” Mackenna answered. “They’re really looking forward to…”

  “Oh…my…God,” Kelly’s hypnotic tone broke through the conversation and Mackenna and Bev followed the path of her eyes as she continued. “Who is that?”

  Mackenna had the same thought as her gaze fastened on the sweat-slicked back of a beautifully muscled man chopping wood not far off. He wore blue jeans like everyone else around, but had stripped down to a white tank top that hugged his form the way Kelly wanted to. From behind, they could see that he had shoulder-length dirty blonde hair, but that most of it lay hidden beneath a red bandana that had been wrapped around the top of his head like a biker.

  Every sinewy muscle bulged in his arms as he continually raised the axe over his head and brought it swiftly down to cleave a log in two. Then, he’d bend over to replace the wooden casualty with another, and his denim Levis did exactly what they were meant to. Mackenna smiled appreciatively and then amusedly as she noticed Kelly nearly salivating at the sight. Bev saw, too, and locked humorous eyes with Mackenna.